It has been awhile, hasn't it?
And I should say 'again', shouldn't I?
Well.... I'm sorry...
I'm not much active currently, and I'm being a bad friend here....
But it's because I'm feeling so down, I don't have the strength to do anything but silently watching...
....my life sucks...
One of my schoolmates - my senior - might die. He was driving his scooter and drove into a person that was walking. He got slung off and out on the road, where a car hit him. He got seriously injured and is in coma right now. If he had been wearing a helmet, he wouldn't have gotten a brain-damage. He might not wake up anymore...
I didn't know him personally, but I know who he is. His mother is the priest of the area I'm living in, and his younger sister is in the same class as my sister. I may not know him as a person, but it still feels close...
I have found out that I may get a warning again. From school. That it's possible that they will kick me out, because of some things...
Also my future dream has shattered. Atleast for now. I really want to go to a Media/Movie school after graduating from Gymnasium in the summer '11. So my parents told me about this school that's not so far away. I got really excited and told several persons that I would like to go there. After some time I checked it on the net. Turns out that the school doesn't exist anymore. If I want to go to a M/M school, it's going to be far away.. I don't know if I can do that...
I really thought that my relationship with my boyfriend was going better. And after setting up a plan with a friend, it actually did seem like it would go forward. But now we have taken a step back.. makes me frustrated...
I want to fucking shoot my cousin! He fell in love with me at my other cousin's wedding some months ago, and now he sends me messages atleast 7 times eveyday. I actually don't mind much, but he keeps calling me 'søde' and 'skat' ('sweety', 'honey'). It's hitting my nerve. First of all - I only want my boyfriend to call me 'skat'. Secondly - isn't it weird to get asked if you're a virgin from your younger cousin?? We may not blood-related - my uncle and aunt ae taking care of him for his mother - but I have known that boy since he was small, I see him as my lil' bro. This kind of relationship is just weird....
My bike is broken, so I have to walk to school everyday. I don't mind walking, I love walking. But I have to go earlier than normal, and sometimes I don't have time to eat breakfast. Also the weather is extremely stormy and rainy these days! It's actually dangerous to use the way I go to get to school, since I'm going through a forrest...
Lately, I have been getting harrassed. On the net, mainly on youtube. There's this guy who keeps writing mean things about me. I think I made him shut up, though...
DBSK might break up. Makes me sad, since I really love those guys. They are the reason I'm so into Asian music and movies, as well as yaoi...
And lots of other things.. I'm feeling so tired...
I'm beginning to have suicide thoughts again, which isn't good...
Things that make me happy this days, is...
Nothing much, actually..
It seems like I'm becoming a more close part of my class - suddenly, many of my classmates talk with me. They did before, but not so much as now. Makes me happy, more open.
Well, my dog also makes me happy. She always does, that little dork~
Christmas is nearing, but that's actually stressing me out. Oh well, this year will be special - my boyfriend is going to celebrate together with me and my family.
Also, one of my friends is moving back to town. Finally.
Oh, and it seems like my veoh account is getting really populare. All those comments I'm getting.
I have a feeling I should talk with someone about this. But... who?
Bitten is only talking about her old 'n awesome boyfriend these days, she didn't even tell me that she was hospitalized last week.
My own boyfriend has his own worries, seriously.
Anh.. Anh I'm only talking school stuff with now, it seems.
Mai Linh.. is she avoiding me?
I used to be really close to Tanya, but after she moved away, we have fallen apart.
Steffan is no-good to talk with about such things.
Lisa's Birthday is nearing, so I don't want to bother her.
And I'm NOT going to talk with my parents!
I feel bad about being a bad friend here on LJ
And a bad founder for my communities
But I really can't do alot right now
I'm so confused, and depressed about being depressed
I have so many things I want to tell you, but...
As things are now, I can't..
I think I'm going to take a break - not hiatus - for some time
I don't know for how long
But I'm going to Lisa's place this Saturday, maybe that will cheer me abit up
I'm really sorry for bothering you all with this (_ _ )
I'll try read as many of your entries as I can, but I'm not going to make comments
As my mood is right now, it might be best that way
'Cause I don't want to accidently hurt your feelings, since I see you as my friends
Teh, I'm so moody right now... and I don't even have my period >.<'
Anyway~
STAY HAPPY AND ALERT!